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This page provides help and advice if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse.

Overview of what an abusive relationship is

An abusive relationship can include being:

  • threatened with violence - you are frightened of your partner.
  • told what to wear
  • told who to see and speak to
  • told where you can go
  • constantly criticised and put down

It is also abuse if any form of social media is being used to embarrass or threaten you.

Abuse is never OK. You can't blame abuse on:

  • anger
  • alcohol
  • jealousy
  • a sign of love or caring
  • the way you behave
  • the way you look
  • what you wear

If you are in an abusive relationship it's not your fault, and you do not have to put up with it.

Protecting yourself and others from abuse

If you are being abused don't keep what is happening to you a secret. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and the longer the abuse goes on, the harder it gets to take some action.

Don't remain isolated - Your abuser may be trying to control you physically as well as emotionally in many ways. They may be controlling finances and may be stopping you going out, or making it awkward for you to see family and friends. All these are types of abuse that can keep you locked in the relationship. 

You are not to blame - You are not responsible for the abuse although the person abusing you may be telling you, or you may feel, it's your fault. You may have tried changing what you do, say and wear, but despite your efforts you cannot change their behaviour.

Keep yourself safe - Your abuser may apologise and persuade you that it will not happen again but any sort of abuse is likely to get worse; violence rarely happens only once and will get more serious as time goes on.

Only leave when it is safe to do so - You may be considering leaving or may have left before and returned for emotional or practical reasons, this is not unusual. Most people try to get help or leave a number of times before getting the help that's right for them. If you are thinking of leaving making a plan can help you do this as safely as possible.

Report abuse of an adult or child, to the Multi-Agency Safeguarding Hub (MASH) and they also support people at risk of radicalisation.

Getting help and support

If speaking or making a sound would put you in danger and you need immediate help, call 999 and stay on the line, then press 55 when prompted, and the call will be transferred to the police who will know it is an emergency call.

The Suffolk Domestic Abuse Champions Network has a series of podcasts on Spotify about abuse topics and experiences of others. Listen to the podcasts here

Abusive relationship support for young people

Young people in Suffolk can contact:

  • Tope Line for support on 0808 168 1154 (9am - 9pm daily). Text or Whatsapp the Tope Line on: 07375 296229 For more information Visit: tope.org.uk

  • Brave Futures - 333 Felixstowe Road, Ipswich, IP3 9BU. Call 01473 353355. They support children and young people who have experienced sexual abuse.

Information and advice:

Also take a look at this factsheet around toxic masculinity, produced in response to increasing national and local concern about the impact that misogyny and toxic masculinity is having on the lives of our children and young people. 
The factsheet helps adults safely challenge negative language about women and girls. 


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